All I Want For Christmas – An E-Commerce Marketing Carol

– With apologies to Mariah Carey –

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the discounts
Or the Competitor Flash-Sale

I want traffic to my site
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is sales, yeah

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about Black Friday
Or my rejected product feed

I don’t need to invest on Facebook
Thereupon my shopify
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a big Christmas ROI

I want clients for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is sales
Sales, baby

Oh, I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for low returns
And I’m just gonna keep on waiting
Looking at my Analytics Goals

I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won’t even stay awake to
Hear those retargeting users clicks

‘Cause I just want more clients tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do?
Baby, all I want for Christmas is sales
Sales, baby

Oh, all the lights are shining so brightly everywhere
And the sound of Free Shipping fills the air

And everyone is shopping
I hear those paypals ringing
Santa, won’t you bring me the thing I really need?
Won’t you please bring more sales to me?

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just wanna see my clients
Standing right outside my door

Oh, I want clients for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby, all I want for Christmas is sales
Sales, baby